My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
