I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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