Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i can't believe i had my finger in that
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
