I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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