I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
