Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
