No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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