just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
