But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
