oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
