Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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