I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
