it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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