Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
