singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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