Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
