Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i think my cat just said my name.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
