I am midnight drunk by noon
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
