I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
