I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
