Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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