Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
