Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
