I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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