Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
