I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
