I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
