I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
