my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
