i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I want to be your penis for a week.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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