God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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