the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
