she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
