Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
