SEEEEXXX PLEASE
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My balls are so social today.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
