hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
