i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
