That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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