It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
