Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
