he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
