i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
