Apparently you make a good broom.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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