Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
