He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
