I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish you could order shots online.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
