you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
