oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
