ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
