It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
